The Moral of the Story Is...

I've been on a fable kick. First, The Fabled Fourth Graders of Aesop Elementary, then Arnold Lobel's Fables, and now Squids will be Squids: Fresh Morals, Beastly Fables. This book of important life lessons is brought to you by Jon Scieszka (You know, the guy who wrote The Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales and The True Story of the Three Little Pigs. Quite the cool guy, I know.)

It's one of those books that gets funnier with repeated readings. And it's even funnier if you read it to a bunch of fourth graders who have a wicked sense of humor and love a good moral.

Right away you sense the type of book this is going to be. Maybe it's in the title, or the colorful, yet peculiar illustrations that are not unlike Stinky Cheese. Or perhaps it's the age range written in tiny font on the inside jacket flap (Age: 49-630 in dog years).

The introduction gives a nice overview of the history of fables, complete with a short Aesop biography. I like this part:

Fables have been around for thousands of years. And it's no wonder. Because even thousands of years ago people were bright enough to figure out that you could gossip about anybody--as long as you changed their name to something like "Lion" or "Mouse" or "Donkey" first. (Pretty clever, huh? I wish I had been on my fables kick back when I was in school. My brother would have been named "Baboon.")

Squids Will Be Squids is a collection of random, outrageous, laugh-out-loud-even-if-you-don't-get-it fables that Mr. Aesop may or may not have written back in his day. The morals, although seriously bizarre, are full of wisdom if you listen carefully enough. I highly suggest you read this book two or three times and you'll come away with a new outlook on life, if not a hearty belly laugh.

Check out Jon Scieszka's website for boys called Guys Read here: http://www.guysread.com/

Recipe to Read By: Elephant Ears (Named after my favorite fable entitled Elephant and Mosquito.)

Ingredients: A box of puff pastry, cinnamon and sugar

1. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees

2. Thaw the puff pastry. (Microwave for 10 seconds at a time until bendable).

3. Lay the sheet on the table and sprinkle with 1/2 cup sugar and tablespoon of cinnamon. Spread the mixture and make sure that all of the dough is covered.

4. Stare at the dough like it's a Magic Eye poster and find the center. Mark it with your knife if you want. Next, starting with the right side, begin to roll the dough one inch deep, stopping before reaching the center. Continue with the left side. Once both sides are rolled up, fold on top of each other. (Basically, you are rolling each side towards each other and then creating one ginormous roll of elephant ears. Mmmm.)

5. Slice the huge roll into 1/2 thick pieces and lay flat on the cookie sheet.

6. Repeat with the second sheet of puff pastry, if you haven't eaten it already. Puff pastry is goo-ood.

7. Cook for 10 minutes or until golden brown and you can smell the cinnamon and sugar in the oven.

8. As soon as the cookies are finished cooking, remove them from the oven and remove from the cookie sheet and let rest. (If the cookies are left on the cookie sheet the sugar will harden and the cookies will stick).

9. Serve and enjoy!

10. Moral: Food and books go together like peanut butter and baloney sandwiches. Am I the only one who eats that? Pickles and salsa? Doritos and hot chocolate? Well, you know what I mean!

Recipe courtesy of http://www.ifood.tv/. Watch the video on how to make them here!

powered by ifood.tv

Bibbety-Bobbity-Boo! (And Booger Cookies, too)

There's no voice on the outside that can tell you more than the voice on the inside. (From Be the One with the Wand, chapter nine).

Hunky Dory is a witch. And not just any witch. According to her mother she will be "the wickedest witch wherever the four winds blow." She is at the head of her class when it comes to casting spells, brewing potions, and turning handsome princes into frogs, much to the envy of the others in her coven.

Despite her natural witching abilities, Hunky has a strong desire to be something else. Something....good. More specifically, she wants to use her witchcraft to practice wishcraft. Yes, you read that correctly: The wickedest witch wants to trade in her nefarious schemes to become--oh boy get ready for this--a fairy godmother. (Insert collective gasps here.) As you can imagine, this does not go over well.

Hunky gets kicked out of Miss Harbinger's class and is thrown out of her own mother's cave to boot. Confused, hurt, and alone, Hunky heads for the woods where she conjures up a house made of chocolate chip cookie dough (gingerbread is so overrated) and charges people one gold coin to grant their wishes from the bottom of a well. Among the characters who visit her are: Goldilocks (who helps herself to anything in the house--typical), Little Red Riding Hood (who wishes for a jean jacket to replace her outrageously uncool red cape), Wolf (who wishes for a grandmother costume--weirdo), and the devilishly handsome Rumpelstiltskin (who becomes a surprising friend despite his evil ways).

To reunite with her mother, Hunky grants her a deep down, remove-the-corn-husk to find it wish that even her mother herself doesn't know she wants. As it turns out, her wish was to be an aunt, so a baby appears for Auntie Malice. (Hunky is crazy-good at pulling babies out of nowhere.) As you can imagine, all things cute, cuddly, and giggly are incredibly revolting to a witch, so Hunky's mother is less than pleased to have a cooing baby in her care.

"Hunky, you've really gone too far this time. This baby doesn't even speak the same language as we do. And the things that come out of that baby's behind are about a million times more foul than anything I could have concocted in my cauldron." (I love that last line!)

Top 3 Things I Love About this Book:

1.) The fantastically unusual names of the characters. (Sinus Infection, Acid Reflux, and Frantic Search being my favorites.)

2.) It teaches you a lesson without you even knowing that you are being taught a lesson. (Esme is sneaky like that!)

3.) It includes a recipe for cookies :)

Recipe to Read By: Hunky's Booger Cookies

Don't eat too many of these disgustingly good cookies, or you'll be too heavy for your broomstick to carry you, as Hunky would say.

You can find the recipe on Esme's blog or by flipping to the end of the book.

This post is dedicated to my book-eating dog who also, quite coincidentally, loves to eat boogers.

Thank you, Kendall, for not eating this one.

Rapunzel's Revenge

We all know the story...

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away there lived a beautiful young maiden who was kept in a tower against her will by an evil sorceress. Each day, the woman came to see her, bringing fresh food. She would stand at the bottom of the tower and call out,
"Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your long hair."

Blah, blah, blah.


This is where the fairy tale ends and the graphic novel begins. In Shannon and Dean Hale's version, Rapunzel is no longer the damsel in distress, but the damsel causing the distress!Say goodbye to the Rapunzel of your childhood, because this one is tougher, smarter, and a million times more adventurous than that puny blonde locked in the tower. And, she isn't about to wait for some arrogant prince to come rescue her!


Twelve year old Rapunzel lives in a huge castle with the powerful Mother Gothel, an unfriendly old woman who has special "grow power." Bored and wondering if there's something else out there, Rapunzel makes her way over the towering wall that surrounds the castle and discovers a whole other world. This world, however, is not pretty. On the other side of the castle wall is a mine, where the workers are ill-treated, underpaid, and think very poorly of Mother Gothel. As Rapunzel explores this new dark wasteland she runs into her REAL mother, whom she was taken from as a baby by Mother Gothel. (Coincidence, I know!) Mother Gothel finds out she has escaped and locks her in a small room at the top of an outrageously tall tree.


When her hair begins to grow longer and longer, Rapunzel formulates a plan to escape. She uses her thick tresses to propel herself out of the tree and onto the forest floor, so beginning a terrific adventure that doesn't let you stop and rest for a minute. Upon setting out to rescue her real mother, Rapunzel meets Jack, a young rabble-rouser who is wanted for stealing horses and carries a strange goose by his side at all times willing it to lay an egg. (Any ideas which fairy tale this Jack person comes from? Think beanstalk.)


Rapunzel and Jack came across a number of interesting people on their way back to the castle, some of which you may recognize from other fairy tales. The ending is full of action and includes quite a bit of violence for a fairy tale! And yes, it does end happily ever after...




Recipe to Read By: Miniature Castle Cakes

Why not enjoy reading your favorite fairy tale (or fractured fairy tale) with one of these scrummy cakes? Boys--you have no reason to be embarrassed when eating this cake. I mean, if girls swoon over princes in tights, you can eat a frilly cake without feeling the slightest bit girly.

(If not, more cake for us!)

INGREDIENTS
1 package (18-1/4 ounces) white cake mix
2-1/2 cups vanilla frosting
2 milk chocolate candy bars (1.55 ounces each)
21 chocolate nonpareil candies
12 pretzel sticks
1/2 cup flaked coconut
1 drop blue food coloring
3 sticks Fruit Stripe gum
6 small ice cream sugar cones
6 round wooden toothpicks

DIRECTIONS
1. Prepare cake mix according to package directions.
2. Pour batter into a greased 11-in. x 7-in. baking pan and six greased muffin cups.
3. Bake at 350° for 20-30 minutes for cake and 15-18 minutes for cupcakes or until a toothpick comes out clean. Cool cupcakes for 5 minutes and cake for 10 minutes before removing from pans to wire racks.
4. Cut the cake into six square pieces; place on serving plates.
5. Frost cake top and sides. Position a cupcake on top of each; frost cupcakes.
6. For drawbridge, divide each candy bar into four three-piece sections. Center one section on one side of each cake; gently press into cake. Divide the two remaining chocolate sections into three pieces; place one piece above each drawbridge for door. Cut three nonpareil candies in half; arrange a half circle above each door. Press pretzels into cake on each side of bridge.
7. In a resealable plastic bag, shake coconut and food coloring until coconut is evenly colored. Sprinkle around bases of castles to represent water in the moat.
8. Cut each stick of gum in half widthwise; cut one end to form a flag. Insert toothpick into gum. 9. Trim sugar cone tips; insert flags into cones.
10. Place a nonpareil candy on two sides of each cupcake for windows.
11. Frost backs of remaining candies; place one on the front of each cone.
12. Position cones on cupcakes.
13. Enjoy with a cold goblet of milk.
14. Share a piece with your mom, or she may lock you in an extremely tall tower and throw away the key.



Recipe courtesy of Taste of Home magazine.
Some other cute Rapunzel cakes:

Princess Academy

Confession: I would NEVER have picked this book up had it not been for the Newbery Honor Award. I'm not a big reader of "princess" books because they are usually too fluffy and predictable. However, after reading a plethora of favorable reviews I decided that I would give it a try. (But at the earliest mention of a dashing young prince or a wicked stepmother I was moving on! Take that, delicate, pink princess book!) Shamefully, my preconceived notions couldn't have been more wrong. After reading the first page I immediately knew this was no Disney fairy tale.

The story takes place on the slopes of Mount Eskel, where the majority of the residents work in the stone quarry. Miri, a fiesty, yet incredibly tiny girl is the main character who aches to work alongside her father and sister in the quarry. She lives a happy, if unexciting, life until word comes from the lowlanders that the prince will choose a princess from Mount Eskel. You can imagine the hullaballoo that ensues. (Don't you love that word--hullaballoo? I need to find more ways to use it.) Here lies the problem: Prince Steffan will not choose a bride without her going through a rigorous training in lowlander life. A special academy is set up on the other side of the mountain for all eligible girls to attend. Unlike The Princess Diaries (which I admit to watching on more than one occasion), the Academy is nothing like Julie Andrews' crash-course in princess etiquette. On the contrary, the girls are isolated from the outside world and deprived of visiting their families, are humiliated daily by Tutor Olana, and face a myriad of dangerous situations, such as a group of bandits who invade the Academy. Doesn't sound like your average glass slipper--talking mirror--evil spell casting fairy tale, now does it? In addition to her bravery and quiet intelligence, Miri discovers an unspoken, language called "quarry-speech" that allows her to lead the other girls out of danger and prove herself as a true heroine, despite her small size.
This book will appeal to tomboys, girly-girls, wannabe princesses, princess-despisers and even dare I say it...boys! Yes, it's that good. Go ahead and read it--I promise no one will call you a sissy.

Recipe to Read By: Biscuits with Honey
Honey is a rare treat on the Slopes of Mount Eskel, and Miri often fantasized about hot biscuits drizzled with the sweet amber liquid on bleak winter evenings.
These easy-peasy biscuits are delicious in any weather or at any altitude.

Ingredients:
2 1/4 cups self-rising flour
3/4 cup shortening
1 cup milk

Directions:
1. Combine and mix ingredients together.
2. Pour out on floured waxed paper. Pat the dough out with your hands until dough is not sticky (add a little flour if necessary). Fold double.
3. Cut biscuits with a biscuit cutter.
4. Bake on a cookie sheet at 425 degrees F (220 degrees C) for 20-25 minutes.
5. Drizzle with honey
6. Drizzling won't give you nearly enough honey, so pour the rest of the honey jar into a bowl and plunge your biscuit into it. This will make a sticky mess, but that's okay. You're not trying to marry a prince, are you?