Madame Pamplemousse and Her Incredible Edibles

Madame Pamplemousse and Her Incredible Edibles by Rupert Kingfisher is not just a delicious read, but a delicious experience for the senses. As you know, here at Sweet Reads we are all about incredible edibles, so this title was bumped to the top of my To-Read-Right-This-Very-Instant List before even cracking open the cover. (FYI: That doesn’t happen very often. I’m very stingy with my TRRTVI List.)

The edibles referred to in the title are NOT the type of edibles you will find on this blog. You will not find a wholesome banana bread or a crumbly sugar cookie or any type of normal food item within the pages of this book. Ohhh, no sir. These edibles are the kind you may find on Fear Factor, except with a gourmet twist. For instance, have you ever tried Salt-Cured Raptor Tails or Scorpion Tails in Smoked Garlic Oil. Or how about Crocodile Kidneys in Blueberry Wine and Giant Squid Tentacles in Jasmine-Scented Jelly? Yeah, me neither.

Madame Pamplemousse is the woman responsible for creating these eerie, yet intriguing delicacies in her tiny shop with the help of her one-eyed cat, Camembert.

Inside, the shop is cool and musty-smelling, lit only by candlelight. In the flickering shadows, great bunches of sausages and dried herbs, strings of garlic and chilli peppers, and giant salted meats hang from the ceiling. Rows of cheeses are laid out on beds of dark green leaves and all around there are shelves winding up to the ceiling, crammed with bottles and strangely shaped jars.

Madeleine is sent by her parents to work in her uncle Lard’s restaurant, The Squealing Pig, for the summer. Uncle Lard (whose outfits are as horrendous as his food) serves foods that are greasy, fried, and full of fat. Madeleine is an aspiring (meaning aiming for) chef who loves to experiment in the kitchen, often creating delicious and unique dishes to the surprise of the Head Chef and a jealous Uncle Lard. Once Uncle Lard realizes Madeleine’s potential, he banishes her from the kitchen and forces her to scrub the pots and pans that are covered with slimy fat. When he finds out about Madame Pamplemousse’s incredible edibles, he sends Madeleine to work in her shop and act as a spy to gain the secrets to her recipes.

Madeleine flourishes under the watchful eye of Madame Pamplemousse and is taught many culinary skills, all the while keeping her word to her uncle that she would find the secret ingredients in the incredible edibles. One day, Madame Pamplemousse catches Madeleine spying on her during a clandestine (meaning secret) cooking operation and Madeleine, racked with guilt, confesses her intentions. Surprisingly, Madame Pamplemousse is not the least bit angry and gladly hands over the recipe to an ashamed, yet grateful, Madeleine. What she discovers on the yellowed piece of paper written in ink is a list of ingredients that is anything but incredible. In fact, they were quite ordinary. It is at this moment that Madeleine realizes that the reason Madame Pamplemousse's incredible edibles are so extraordinary is because of the cook--not the ingredients. One of my favorite lines in the entire book comes during this realization and I loved it so much that I wrote it in my NN (Nightstand Notebook) and highlighted it. The ending is a tad predictable, but completely worth reading. If anything, it will have you asking your mom for something a little more zesty than the usual mac n' cheese or chicken fingers. Roast Piranha with Raspberry Coulis anyone???

Recipe to Read By: Crusty French Bread

INGREDIENTS
1 (.25 ounce) package active dry yeast
1 cup warm water (110 degrees to 115 degrees)
2 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
3 cups all-purpose flour
Cornmeal
1 egg white
1 teaspoon cold water

DIRECTIONS
In a large mixing bowl, dissolve yeast in warm water.

Add the sugar, oil, salt and 2 cups flour. Beat until blended. Stir in enough remaining flour to form a stiff dough.
Turn onto a floured surface; knead until smooth and elastic, about 6-8 minutes.

Place in a greased bowl, turning once to grease top.

Cover and let rise in a warm place until doubled, about 1 hour.

Punch dough down; return to bowl.

Cover and let rise for 30 minutes.
Punch dough down. Turn onto a lightly floured surface.

Shape into a loaf 16 in. long x 2-1/2 in. wide with tapered ends.

Sprinkle a greased baking sheet with cornmeal; place loaf on baking sheet.

Cover and let rise until doubled, about 25 minutes.
Beat egg white and cold water; brush over dough.

With a sharp knife, make diagonal slashes 2 in. apart across top of loaf.

Bake at 375 degrees F for 25-30 minutes or until golden brown.

Remove from pan to a wire rack to cool.

When the bread comes out of the oven and smells like heaven on a baking sheet, spread the warm, crusty goodness with pate of North Atlantic Sea Serpent with Green Peppercorn Mustard. If it is a special occasion, serve the fresh bread with Velociraptor Heart in Red Wine. (Unfortunately, you will have to find these recipes elsewhere.)

Recipe courtesy of http://www.allrecipes.com/

Princess Academy

Confession: I would NEVER have picked this book up had it not been for the Newbery Honor Award. I'm not a big reader of "princess" books because they are usually too fluffy and predictable. However, after reading a plethora of favorable reviews I decided that I would give it a try. (But at the earliest mention of a dashing young prince or a wicked stepmother I was moving on! Take that, delicate, pink princess book!) Shamefully, my preconceived notions couldn't have been more wrong. After reading the first page I immediately knew this was no Disney fairy tale.

The story takes place on the slopes of Mount Eskel, where the majority of the residents work in the stone quarry. Miri, a fiesty, yet incredibly tiny girl is the main character who aches to work alongside her father and sister in the quarry. She lives a happy, if unexciting, life until word comes from the lowlanders that the prince will choose a princess from Mount Eskel. You can imagine the hullaballoo that ensues. (Don't you love that word--hullaballoo? I need to find more ways to use it.) Here lies the problem: Prince Steffan will not choose a bride without her going through a rigorous training in lowlander life. A special academy is set up on the other side of the mountain for all eligible girls to attend. Unlike The Princess Diaries (which I admit to watching on more than one occasion), the Academy is nothing like Julie Andrews' crash-course in princess etiquette. On the contrary, the girls are isolated from the outside world and deprived of visiting their families, are humiliated daily by Tutor Olana, and face a myriad of dangerous situations, such as a group of bandits who invade the Academy. Doesn't sound like your average glass slipper--talking mirror--evil spell casting fairy tale, now does it? In addition to her bravery and quiet intelligence, Miri discovers an unspoken, language called "quarry-speech" that allows her to lead the other girls out of danger and prove herself as a true heroine, despite her small size.
This book will appeal to tomboys, girly-girls, wannabe princesses, princess-despisers and even dare I say it...boys! Yes, it's that good. Go ahead and read it--I promise no one will call you a sissy.

Recipe to Read By: Biscuits with Honey
Honey is a rare treat on the Slopes of Mount Eskel, and Miri often fantasized about hot biscuits drizzled with the sweet amber liquid on bleak winter evenings.
These easy-peasy biscuits are delicious in any weather or at any altitude.

Ingredients:
2 1/4 cups self-rising flour
3/4 cup shortening
1 cup milk

Directions:
1. Combine and mix ingredients together.
2. Pour out on floured waxed paper. Pat the dough out with your hands until dough is not sticky (add a little flour if necessary). Fold double.
3. Cut biscuits with a biscuit cutter.
4. Bake on a cookie sheet at 425 degrees F (220 degrees C) for 20-25 minutes.
5. Drizzle with honey
6. Drizzling won't give you nearly enough honey, so pour the rest of the honey jar into a bowl and plunge your biscuit into it. This will make a sticky mess, but that's okay. You're not trying to marry a prince, are you?

Love, Ruby Lavender

"Good garden of peas!"

Ruby is a barefoot tomboy with a hankering for mischeif and a love for chickens. She and her grandma, Miss Eula, live in the sleepy town of Halleluia, Mississippi, where everyone knows each others' business and nothing exciting ever happens. When Miss Eula leaves for Hawaii, Ruby's world turns upside down. Ruby is left to fend for herself against the horrible Melba Jane and to raise two baby chicks on her very own. I loved reading the hilarious letters Ruby and Miss Eula write back and forth to each other and found myself yearning to live in Halleluia by the end of the book. If you find yourself speaking Ruby-lingo with a Southern accent, wearing overalls all day/every day, and plotting ways to steal chickens DO NOT FEAR. It happens to everyone who reads this.

Recipe to Read By:

Ruby's mom's Zucchini Bread (makes 2 loaves)

Ingredients

3 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoons salt

1 teaspoon ground nutmeg
2 teaspoons baking soda

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

3 cups sugar

1 cup vegetable oil

4 eggs, beaten

1/3 cup water

2 cups grated zucchini

1 teaspoon lemon juice

1 cup chopped walnuts or pecans

Directions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. In a large bowl, combine flour, salt, nutmeg, baking soda, cinnamon and sugar. In a separate bowl, combine oil, eggs, water, zucchini and lemon juice. Mix wet ingredients into dry, add nuts and fold in. Bake in 2 standard loaf pans, sprayed with nonstick spray, for 1 hour, or until a tester comes out clean.

Ruby's notes: Don't get any notions about sharing one of the loaves. They are GOOD and you'll eat 'em up quicker than you can say Halleluia, Mississippi. (For those of you priss-pants picky eaters: you can't taste the zucchini--I promise! Just eat it and quit your foolin'!)

*Recipe courtesy of Ruby's mom (who got it from Paula Deen of the Food Network--shhh, don't tell!)