Turtle in Paradise

The year is 1935. Our country is in the middle of the Great Depression. This means that many people were out of work and did not have much money. Turtle's mom gets a job as a housekeeper to an uptight women who doesn't allow children in her home. As a result, Turtle gets sent to live with her Aunt Minnie and menagerie of cousins in Key West, Florida. When she arrives she discovers things are wildly different than she has expected. Besides the fact that nobody wears shoes, she unearths a supposedly dead grandmother and uncovers a long buried pirate treasure. Throw in some hilarious scenes, memorable characters, and a serious adventure and you've got the makings of one terrific novel.

Here are the top three things I absolutely LOVE about this book:
1.) The Character Names.
     Beans, Kermit, Pork Chop, Slow Poke, and Too Bad, to name a few.
2.)  The Diaper Gang
Turtle's entrepreneur cousins belong to the very exclusive Diaper Gang. Yes, they change diapers and swaddle fussy babies in exchange for candy. Hey, times were tough. Candy was a hot commodity.
3.) The History.
You learn a heap about what life was like in Key West in 1935. I was intrigued by all of the references to Little Orphan Annie and Terry and the Pirates. Turtle even meets Key West's most famous writer (Ernest Hemingway, perhaps?) and advises him to write for the funny pages.
4.) Alligator Pears.
You'll have to read to find out what they are!

Little Orphan Annie



Terry and the Pirates

Recipe to Read By:
A True Key West Cut Up
Key West Cut


Here's a picture of the Key West Cut-Up we made in my class. A little sour, a little sweet, a LOT delicious!

Another Historical Fiction Winner

It's no secret that my favorite genre is historical fiction (although I'm really trying to branch out!) and at any given time there is bound to be at least two HF novels on my nightstand stack. This week I traveled back to the turn of the century in Fentress, Texas, to the home of Calpurnia Virginia Tate, or Callie Vee, as her family calls her.

Callie is the only girl out of 7 kids and lives under the watchful eye of her mother, who tries fruitlessly (meaning unsuccessfully) for Callie to learn some "housewife" skills like cookery and tatting. *Note: I researched tatting, and I still don't get the point of it. What are you supposed to do with a doily anyway? That word makes me gag: doily. Blech.

Anyway...Callie wiles away the summer trying to figure out ways to stay cool in the hot summer heat (remember, this is before air-conditioning was invented). She even goes so far as to cut off an inch of hair every week so that her mother doesn't notice. One day, she wanders into her granddaddy's "lab" and falls head over heels into the world of science. Her granddaddy is an avid naturalist and shows Callie how to look very closely at seemingly simple natural objects to find amazing things that you probably have never noticed before.

Before long, Callie and her granddaddy discover a new plant species and send it off to Washington to be officially inspected. Unfortunately for Callie, her mother notices that she is spending way too much time collecting specimens and not enough time practicing her piano and learning how to make apple pie. She sentences Callie to cooking lessons with the house cook, Viola, and you can imagine how unhappy

(from page 225)

An hour later, I stood panting and thrashing around with my third bowl of dough, with Mother and Viola growing more incredulous by the minute. The first batch had been watery and lumpy; the second so dense I couldn't roll it out with the pin; the last had turned sticky as wallpaper paste and with the same unappealing consistency. It was all over my hands and pinafore, smeared across the counter and the pump handle, and there were streaks of it in my hair. I think there was even a glob on the fly paper hanging from the ceiling several feet above my head, but how it got there, I had no idea.

Will Callie be able to grow up and attend the university and become a scientist as she dreams? Or is she sentenced to a lifetime of housewife chores? I'm not going to tell you, people! Go grab this one from the library--you'll not only adore Callie, but you'll feel mighty grateful that we have the freedoms (and technology!) that we have today.

Recipe to Read By: Callie's Old Fashioned Apple Pie

Although Callie had the unfortunate experience of making her pie crust from scratch, we can throw our hands up and praise the inventors of refrigerated pie dough. THANK YOU INVENTORS OF REFRIGERATED PIE DOUGH!

Instead of slaving away the day with a rolling pin, this delicious dessert is as easy as, well you know...

Ingredients

2 refrigerated pie crusts
1 egg white
8 large Golden Delicious apples, peeled, cored and thinly-sliced
1/3 cup granulated sugar
2 Tbsp. all-purpose flour
1 tsp. cinnamon

Directions
1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.
2. Unfold one of the pie crusts into a 9-inch pie plate. Brush with egg white (this prevents the crust from getting soggy). Let the egg white dry while you prepare the filling.
3. Toss apples with remaining ingredients. Pile into prepared crust.
4. Unfold the second prepared pie crust over the apples, tucking the extra under the bottom crust. Now pinch the edges with your fingers. (This is called crimping.)
5. Cut 3-4 slits in the top crust to allow steam to escape and to make it look fancy-schmancy.

Cover the pie loosely with a sheet of aluminum foil.
6. Bake 10 minutes. Remove the foil, lower the temperature to 375 degrees F., and bake another 30-40 minutes.

Recipe courtesy of: About.com Cooking With Kids

A Mysterious Book Found in a Mysterious Location...

A few days ago, Kendall knocked her favorite toy under the bed and I found her frantically scratching and pawing at the carpet, trying desperately to reach it. Knowing that she wouldn't rest until it was in her mouth again, I got down on my stomach and peered into the dusty blackness. As I slid my arm as far underneath the bed as physically possible, my hand hit something hard and heavy: a book! Even without seeing the cover, I knew exactly which book it was: The Invention of Hugo Cabret--a favorite among my students a couple of years ago. How the book ended up under the bed, however, remains a mystery, although my literature-loving dog may have something to do with it...

Don't be intimidated by the size of this book. Although it is heavy enough to do some serious damage if you drop it on a toe, 284 of the 513 pages are original illustrations hand-drawn by the author, Brian Selznick.

The story takes place within the walls of a train station in Paris where Hugo, an orphan, lives in a secret room. Hugo has tended to the station clocks ever since his uncle disappeared, and he knows all of the secret hallways, tunnels, and rooms hidden beyond the station walls. Hugo spends his days fixing the clocks, stealing bites of food when he can, and trying to stear clear of the Station Inspector who will send him off to an orphanage if he is caught.

The only thing Hugo has left of his father is an automaton (an old-fashioned robot that writes) that was found in the rubble of the museum where he worked after it was burned down. Hugo is absolutely certain that if he can fix the automaton by reading father's notes, it will write a message from his father.

"What is it?"
"An automaton."
"What's that?"
"It's a windup figure, like a music box or a toy, except it's infinitely more complicated."
"What do you mean?"
"This one can write. At least I think it can. It's got a pen in its hand, and it's sitting at a desk. I'm sure that if it were working, you could wind it up, put a piece of paper on the desk, and all those little parts would engage and cause the arm to move in such a way that it would write out some kind of note."

Cool stuff, right? Find out more about automatons here.

Brian Selznick not only weaves a fascinating plot of mystery, history, and movie-making, but he captures the reader with his amazing illustrations that are able to tell a story on their own.

Let me know if you want to borrow this one--it will be sitting on my highest bookshelf along with all of my other prized books where the dog can't mistake it for a chew toy...

Recipe to Read By: French Sable Cookies
Sable cookies are a classic French cookie originating in Normandy. Sable is French for "sand," which refer to the sandy texture of these delicate shortbread-like cookies. I feel very sophisticated baking these and make a point to tell everyone that they are French.

Ingredients
2 cups all-purpose flour
½ teaspoon baking powder
10 tablespoons butter
½ cup granulated sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions
1. In a medium bowl mix the flour and baking powder and set aside. In large mixing bowl, cream the butter and sugar together until smooth. Add the egg and vanilla extract and mix in the dry ingredients until a smooth dough forms.

2. Form the dough into a disk shape or 2-inch diameter log. Wrap the dough in plastic wrap and chill for 1 hour. (You can sneak bits of cookie dough while you're waiting for the time to pass.)

3. Preheat the oven to 350F. Roll out the disk of dough to ¼-inch thickness, and cut out the sables using any shaped cookie cutter. (A fluted one looks very authentic, but the only one I could find was a Christmas tree and it worked fine).

4. Bake on a parchment lined baking sheet for 15 minutes, or until they are lightly browned around the edges. Cool the sables for 2 minutes on the cookie sheet and then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely. Voilà!

Recipe courtesy of http://frenchfood.about.com/od/cookies/r/vansable.htm

P.S. Thank you Nick G. for donating a copy of this book to the classroom library!

The Wednesday Wars

Have you ever been convinced that a teacher was out to get you?
Holling Hoodhood, a seventh grader at Camillo Junior High just knows that his teacher, Mrs. Baker, hates his guts. Not only does she constantly correct him, roll her eyes at his attempts to diagram sentences, and assign him 150-question tests on Shakespeare, but she throws him to the rats (literally!) and lets a bully almost tear him to little bits. In a class full of Jewish and Catholic students, Holling is the only Presbyterian, which means on Wednesday afternoons, when all the other kids leave for religious study, Holling is stuck in the classroom with Mrs. Baker.

However, Mrs. Baker proves to be the least of his problems. Against his will, Holling manages to secure a role in the town Shakespeare festival as Ariel the fairy. This requires him to stand in front of an audience wearing yellow tights and white feathers on an embarrassing place. As you can imagine, this is quite a humiliating experience. To top it off, the performance is the exact same night that Micky Mantle is signing autographs at the local sporting goods store and Holling's dad forgets to pick him up. In a hysterical scene, Holling runs across town (still wearing the fairy costume) and makes it just before the store closes. Here's what happens:

Micky Mantle looked me up and down. "I don't sign baseballs for kids in yellow tights." He tossed my perfect new white baseball onto the floor. It rolled past my feet and into the folds of my blue cape. The world should split in two. The world should split in two and I should fall in the crack and never be heard from again. Holling Hoodhood. Me. The boy in yellow tights with white feathers on the butt and a blue floral cape. The boy Mickey Mantle wouldn't sign a baseball for.

Things like this happen to Holling every day. To top it off, the year is 1967 and the country is at war in Vietnam. His older sister, a peace-loving flower child, runs away to California and his dad doesn't care about anything except their perfect home and the family business. And don't forget about Wednesdays with Mrs. Baker in the rat-infested classroom.

I hope I'm not giving the impression that the book is gloomy--it's DEFINITELY not. It's witty, interesting, well-written, and wickedly funny. I read this on an airplane over Spring Break and you could hear my giggles all the way down the aisle. All of the characters are uniquely memorable (even the ones you love to hate) and may end up surprising you. You may even end up surprising yourself by pulling some Shakespeare off the shelves. Toads, beetles, bats, light on you!

Recipe to Read By: Mr. Goldman's Cream Puffs (These are SO fun to make!)

Despite being devoured by man-eating rats and covered with layers of dusty chalk, lightly-toasted golden cream puffs make a repeat appearance throughout this novel.

Filling:

2 (3.5 ounce) packages instant vanilla pudding mix
2 cups heavy cream
1 cup milk

Pastry:

1 (17.3 oz.) pkg. frozen puff pastry sheets, thawed per package directions

1 egg

1/4 c. milk

1-2 Tbsp. sugar

Directions:

Mix together vanilla instant pudding mix, cream and milk. Cover and refrigerate to set.

Carefully open one pastry sheet along the creases; place remaining sheet in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

(Get mom for this step) Using a long, sharp knife, cut each strip of pastry at creases, forming 3 strips.

Cut each strip width wise into 7 pieces, slicing straight down-don't drag the knife across the pastry.

Flip each cut piece over ( to place the side you cut on down onto the sheet).

Place on lightly greased baking sheets, leaving room between each piece.

Combine egg and milk; lightly brush over pastry. Sprinkle with sugar.

Repeat with remaining puff pastry sheet.

Bake at 400 degrees for 10-12 minutes or until golden brown.

Remove to a wire rack and cool completely. Using a serrated knife, slice through the center to make top and bottom halves.

Spread about 1 Tbsp. of filling on bottom half of each pastry and replace tops. Store in refrigerator. Place a note on cream puffs that reads, "Do not touch. Digestion may cause explosive stomach sickness." Do a little cream puff dance and rejoice that the entire batch of sweet, flaky deliciousness is all yours.

Lincoln and His Boys

When you hear the name Abraham Lincoln, which words pop into your head?

President. Tall. Beard. Civil War. Slavery. Log cabin. Honest.

Allow me to read your mind: The words “children” or “father” probably didn’t make it onto your list. Am I right? Did you even know that our 16th president had children? Don’t be ashamed. I didn’t either.
Honest Abe had four sons, and Lincoln and His Boys introduces you to three of them. This enthralling story is written from the point-of-view of Willie, the next to youngest, who gets to tag along on his father’s campaign trail, and noisy Tad, the baby of the family, who uses the White House as his playground.

Spoken by Willie:

The president’s house has as many rooms as a good sized hotel. The green room
has disgusting moldy chairs and sofas. We bounce on them, but clouds of dust and
mold come up and make us sneeze. Some rooms are filled with boring old statues
and paintings in flaking gold frames. But there are secret attics above our
living rooms. In them, we found boxes left over from other presidents. There was
a pile of rusted swords and guns left over in an old wardrobe labeled Jackson.
We found a minuteman’s uniform from the time of George Washington.

Sounds pretty cool, huh?
The book begins with Willie, Tad, and their parents at home in Springfield, Illinois. Their father, a lawyer, is thinking about running for president against his rival, Mr. Douglas. Through Willie’s eyes, we follow his family all the way to the White House. About three-fourths of the way through the book, we start to see the family through Taddie’s point of view. Through a miserable war filled with death and despair, family tragedy, and the crumbling of the South, we witness Abraham Lincoln as a devoted father; always kind, always gentle, and never losing track of what is important.

For those of you who think biographies are boring, I strongly suggest you give this book a chance. Although it reads like historical fiction, it’s really a biography in disguise.





*Recipe to Read By: Union Hardtack
Click here to read about the history of hardtack.

Ingredients

2 cups of flour
1/2 to 3/4 cup water
1 tablespoon of Crisco or vegetable fat
6 pinches of salt

Directions
Mix the ingredients together into a stiff batter, knead several times, and spread the dough out flat to a thickness of 1/2 inch on a non-greased cookie sheet.
Bake for one-half an hour at 400 degrees.
Remove from oven, cut dough into 3-inch squares, and punch four rows of holes, four holes per row into the dough.
Turn dough over, return to the oven and bake another one-half hour.
Turn oven off and leave the door closed.
Leave the hardtack in the oven until cool.
Remove and enjoy!


Recipe courtesy of Gettysburg National Military Park

More About Lincoln:
http://www.whitehouse.gov/about/presidents/AbrahamLincoln/


http://www.socialstudiesforkids.com/subjects/abrahamlincoln.htm


http://www.dispatchnie.com/live/export-content/sites/dispatchnie/pdfs/LincolnKidsActivities2009.pdf


http://abrahamlincolnblog.blogspot.com/

A Presidents' Day Adventure

Here's another title to add to your Official List of Top 10 Favorite Historical Fiction Novels:

The Mostly True Adventures of Homer P. Figg.

(Sidebar: Please DO NOT tell me you don't have a list. You know how I feel about Historical Fiction lists, people! Also, it's okay by me if you want to bump out Number the Stars from the Top 10. It makes me weepy, too. I won't tell your teacher.)

With it being Lincoln's birthday and all I was feeling especially patriotic and America-loving and thought a trip back in time to the Civil War would be especially historical. I even donned my American flag earrings (and I swore I would NEVER be one of those teachers who accessorized by the season!) and a red and blue sweater. With my Fourth of July mix playing in the back ground and a giant hot dog at the ready, I was ready for reading.

As soon as I cracked open the book and began reading, The Stars and Stripes Forever was immediately drowned out and my hot dog long forgotten. Rodman Philbrick, whom you may recognize as the author of Freak the Mighty, weaves an enormously engaging tale of Homer Figg, adventure bound farm boy from Maine and fib-teller extraordinaire. Homer sets out on wild journey across America to find his brother, Harold, who was illegally sold to the Union army by their despicable guardian (despicable meaning foul, awful, or worthy of being despised). His journey begins with an escape from the little town of Pine Swamp, Maine and an encounter with two of dirtiest slave catchers in the North, Smelt and Stink, and a kindly Quaker named Jebediah Brewster who not only hides runaway slaves in his basement but funds Homer's journey across the country. Stink and Smelt are not the only sleazeballs Homer will come across in his journey to find the Union soldiers. After traveling by train to Portland, Homer then sails to New York aboard a steamship for the very first time and is taken advantage of by two professional thieves who swindle his money and leave him for broke. As the journey continues, Homer is featured as a headlining attraction while traveling with a Medicine Show, whose leader is arrested for being a spy for the Confederate Rebels. (This is called treason). Just when you think the edge of your seat can't get any tinier, Homer finds himself smack-dab in the middle of the Battle of Gettysburg, dodging bullets and bayonets, all the while keeping up the search for his beloved older brother. I won't give away the ending, but I will tell you that after finishing the book I bit into my cold, shriveled hot dog wishing I had paid closer attention in my 10th grade U.S. History class.

Recipe to Read By: MARY TODD LINCOLN CAKE

The marriage of Mary Todd to Abraham Lincoln is best expressed by the words Lincoln had engraved inside Mary's wedding band, "Love is Eternal." Mary expressed her feelings in less dramatic, but lasting and tasteful terms. She baked him her favorite white cake.

This is her recipe. (If you really want to annoy your mom, tell her you want to be 100%AUTHENTIC and cook it over hot coals without any electric devices--just like in Lincoln's day.)

Ingredients
1 1/2 cups sugar

1 cup butter (churned by hand)

1 tsp. vanilla

2 1/4 c. cake flour

1 tbsp. baking powder

1 1/3 cups milk (fresh from the cow)

1 cup finely chopped almonds

6 egg whites - stiffly beaten (collected from the hens out back)

Directions

Cream sugar, butter and vanilla.

Sift together cake flour and baking powder three times.
Add to creamed mixture alternately with milk.

Stir in almonds. Gently fold in the egg whites.
Pour into two greased and floured 9 x 11/2-inch round baking pans.
Bake at 375 degrees for 30 minutes.
Cool for 10 minutes before removing from pan.

Note: Although far more complicated, this is tastier than a cold hot dog any day.

*Recipe courtesy of the Southtown Star

More Lincoln Food Facts:

It is said that his wife, Mary Todd Lincoln had a hard time getting him to remember to eat at all. When she did discover things that he truly enjoyed, she made sure that they were available whenever he wanted them. For the most part, his food tastes were simple. He loved fresh fruit, particularly apples. One of his favorite meals was simply fresh fruit and nuts, cheese and crackers.

Thank you to Esme of http://planetesme.blogspot.com/ for the fabulous recommendation!

Al Capone Does My Shirts

"I want to be here like I want poison oak on my private parts."

How could you not want to keep reading after a line like that?

Friday, January 4, 1935
Today I moved to a twelve acre rock covered with cement, topped with bird turd and surrounded by water. Alcatraz sits smack in the middle of the bay--so close to the city of San Francisco, I can hear them call the score on the baseball game on Marina Green. Okay, not that close. But still.

Before beginning this book, not one of my 20 fourth graders had even heard of Alcatraz Island (Alca-what?? Is that a video game?) and thought Al Capone was the short Italian dude who delivered pizza from Dino's. However, not ten pages into this book the questions began rolling:

How many people did you have to kill to be sent to Alcatraz? How many people did Al Capone kill? Did anyone ever escape from Alcatraz? Where's San Francisco anyway--is that near the Everglades? Don't be so daft. They can't have an island in the Everglades. I think it's near my Gram's condo in Ft. Myers. Did the convicts really do the laundry? Can we take a field trip there? PLEASE, MRS. SCHREIBER????

Obsession is the word. We couldn't get enough of it. Set in 1935 amidst the Great Depression, Prohibition, and baseball fever is a historical fiction novel so well written that it very well could be true. (We in room 463 like to think that it is.) Moose Flanagan's family has just moved to the island of Alcatraz, leaving behind his friends, his neighborhood, and his favorite pastime: baseball. You can guess that he's not overjoyed at the prospect of finding a new home on a rocky island inhabited by the most notorious criminals in the nation. (Notorious means to be famous for doing something bad).

Moose's father works as an electrician and prison guard and his mother teaches piano lessons. While his parents are working, Moose is responsible for taking care of his sister, Natalie, who is autistic (although it wasn't known as autism back in those days). It doesn't take long for Moose to join the small group of children who also live on the island, namely the Warden's daughter Piper, a feisty beauty with trouble on the brain. Piper uses her elitist influence to persuade the other kids to join in her schemes; the most memorable of which was charging the school children money to have their clothes laundered by Al Capone. Although the plan backfires in the worst way, it doesn't stop Piper from her continuous plotting to get up close and personal with the convicts (or "cons" as they are called by the islanders). Readers will get caught up in Moose's personal struggle between doing the right thing and doing what his heart desires. The ending will leave you wishing for a time machine to jump back into the 30's and experience life as it was more than 70 years ago. (We are working on making that happen, but don't hold your breath.)

*If you ask any of my students what their #1 favorite line in the entire book was their answer will undoubtedly be the same. Moose, fed up with Piper's antics, tells her to "go stick her head in the crapper." Warning to all teachers of fourth graders: Fits of giggles, high-pitched squeals of the word "crapper," and all-around hysteria ensue after muttering that one phrase. Just a heads-up.

Recipe to Read By: Natalie's Lemon Cake
According to Moose, this recipe works wonders for bribing your sister to do what you want.
Glad my brother never knew about this--I would do ANYTHING for a moist slice of this too-tart- yet-supersweet lemony goodness.

Ingredients
1 pkg. lemon Jello
4 eggs
3/4 c. water
1 pkg. yellow cake mix (or lemon-flavored if you really want a citrusy sensation)
3/4 c. oil
2 lemons
2 c. confectioners' sugar
1 well greased 9x13" cake pan


Directions
Mix first 3 ingredients and beat 2 minutes.
Add next 2 ingredients and beat another minute.
Pour into greased cake pan.
Put into preheated oven (325 degrees if glass pan, 350 degrees if metal pan.)
Allow 40-45 minutes to rise and brown; should spring back when poked with your finger.
Mix juice from 2 lemons with confectioners' sugar, pouring slowly to avoid lumps.
Prick cake while hot all over with fork (this is the best part!), then pour lemon-sugar mix all over warm cake.
Call your sister in your most syrupy sweet voice and be prepared to get whatever you want from her.

*Recipe courtesy of http://www.cooks.com/

This book has won the following prestigious awards:
Newbery Honor Book
ALA Notable Book
Parent’s Choice Silver Medal
School Library Journal Best Books of the Year

If your love of the book grows into a boundless obsession (trust us--we've been there), here are some websites to satisfy your thirst for anything Alcatraz:
The History of Alcatraz: http://www.alcatrazhistory.com/
Al Capone History Files: http://www.chicagohs.org/history/capone.html
Alcatraz Escape Attempts: http://www.sfgenealogy.com/sf/history/aindex.htm

Catherine, Called Birdy

I am a firm believer that every child should have a historical fiction novel amongst his/her list of Top 10 Favorite Books.

What? You don't have a historical fiction book on your Top 10 List of Favorite Books? WHAT??? You don't have a list of Top 10 Favorite Books???

Deep breaths.

Okay. Here's what you need to do right this instant: read this review, then go track down a copy of the book and bury your nose in it until you're finished. (No, you may NOT get a snack and no you may NOT sleep. If you must use the bathroom I expect the book to accompany you.) Once you have accomplished this, form a list of your Top 10 Favorite Books and place this one somewhere close to the top.

There, you are now whole.

Not only is Catherine, Called Birdy one of my all-time-absolute- favorite-no-questions-asked historical fiction books, but it also includes one of my all-time-absolute-favorite-no-questions-asked characters. I love this book and I love this character. Here's why:

The story takes place in 13th century Medieval England. Catherine (or Birdy, as she is called by her family) is the 14-year-old daughter of a country knight who spends her days pining for freedom from her mundane chores and foiling her father's attempts to marry her off. As part of a bargain with her older brother, Edward, Birdy keeps a diary for a year, and it is through her writing that we learn about daily life in the manor. Birdy is remarkably clever and has a sharp tongue to match, often earning her a day locked in her chamber as punishment. She invents wonderful songs, catchy curse words, and potions to cure the villagers of everything from "ale head" to "putrid stomach." More than anything, I loved reading Birdy's hilarious accounts of warding off potential suitors. As the book drew to a close, I couldn't help but wish for Birdy to journal another year in her life. Strangely, I also had a sudden urge to take a steaming hot bath, and to call my dad and thank him profusely for not forcing me into a marriage with someone called Shaggy Beard.

24th Day of September

The stars and my family align to make my life black and miserable. My mother seeks to make me a fine lady--dumb, docile, and accomplished--so I must take lady lessons and keep my mouth closed. My brother Edward thinks even girls should not be ignorant, so he taught me to read Holy books and write, even though I would rather sit in an apple tree and wonder. Now my father, the toad, conspires to sell me like cheese to some lack-wit seeking a wife. What makes this clodpole suitor anxious to have me? I am no beauty, being sun-browned and gray-eyed, with poor eyesight and a stubborn disposition. Corpus bones! He comes to dine with us in two days' time. I plan to cross my eyes and drool in my meat.

Disclaimer: This book is for MATURE readers only. How do you know if you are mature enough to read it? Do you giggle uncontrollably at the mention of "passing wind" or "making water?" Does the thought of kissing make you hurl and gag? If you answered yes to any of the above questions, wait another five years before you check out this book.

Recipe to Read By: Soul Cakes
Children in medieval villages such as Birdy's went from door to door on Oct. 31 (All Hallow's Eve), Nov. 1 (All Saint's Day), & Nov. 2 (All Soul's Day) begging for Soul Cakes:

"Soul Cake, soul cake, please good missus, a soul cake. An apple, a plum,
a peach, or a cherry, anything good thing to make us merry."

Birdy snuck extra soul cakes for eating in her chamber. If you choose to do the same, make sure you eat over a napkin because these little yummies are especially crumbly. Don't forget to dispose of the evidence.
Ingredients1 cup butter, two sticks American
3 3/4 cups sifted flour
1 cup fine sugar
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon ginger
1 teaspoon allspice
2 eggs
2 teaspoons cider vinegar (I know, weird!)
4-6 tablespoons milk
powdered sugar, to sprinkle on top

Directions
Preheat oven to 350°F.
Cut the butter into the flour with a pastry blender or a large fork.
Blend in the sugar, nutmeg, ginger, cinnamon and allspice; beat eggs, vinegar, and milk together.
Mix with the flour mixture until a stiff dough is formed.
Knead thoroughly and roll out 1/4-inch thick.
Cut into 3-inch rounds and place on greased baking sheets.
Prick several times with a fork and bake for 20-25 minutes.
Sprinkle lightly with powdered sugar while still warm.
Lick off the powdered sugar and sprinkle them all again. No one will know.
(This is Birdy's idea--not mine!)

Read more about medieval food here:
http://www.medieval-life.net/food.htm

http://www.historylearningsite.co.uk/food_and_drink_in_medieval_engla.htm