Cosmically Comical

      "Mom? Dad? Um, you know how I said we were going to the Lake District for a field trip?

Well...we are actually hurtling through space a zillion miles away from Earth. Please don't be  mad."                                                                                              

       12-year-old Liam Digby is extremely tall for his age. He spends the majority of his middle school years being mistaken as an adult and soon realizes that being tall has its perks. He can ride roller coasters when the rest of his class cannot. He can pose as a teacher and drink coffee in the teachers' lounge. He can even test drive a Porsche! Well, he can almost test drive a Porsche. He and his friend Florida, a celebrity-obsessed fashion junkie (love her!),  break away from their weekly drama class and peruse the shopping mall posing as a father-daughter duo. Liam, a World of Warcraft addict, believes that he is gaining "skills" to prepare him for the next Level. The action really starts heating up when Liam enters a contest to visit the World's Most Awesome Theme Park. The only catch is that the contest is for dads and kids. Guess who enters it as a father and daughter pair and wins? You betcha: Liam and Florida. What ensues is a Dahl-like competition that tests the bravery, intelligence, and most of all "dadliness" of our hilarious main character.

As Liam would say, it is "absolutely cosmic!"

Recipe to Read By: Out of This World Moon Pies

Moon pies traditionally combine marshmallows, cookies, and chocolate, but you can always add a smear of peanut butter or Nutella for a cosmic flavor combination.

Ingredients:

1 box Devil's food cake mix
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
2 eggs
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1/2 cup butter, softened
1 cup confectioners' sugar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup Marshmallow Fluff

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (200 degrees C). Spray two cookie sheets.
2. To Make Chocolate Cookies: Mix together cake mix and baking powder. Stir in eggs and oil.
3. Drop the dough onto cookie sheet by rounded tablespoonfuls. Leave at least 3 inches in between each one; dough will spread as it bakes.

4. Bake in preheated oven for about 11 minutes. Allow to cool at least 30 minutes before filling.

5. To Make Cosmic Marshmallow Filling: In a medium mixing bowl, blend together 1/2 cup butter or margarine, confectioners' sugar, flavored extract, and Marshmallow Fluff. Mix until smooth. Stick your finger in and bask in the glory that is Marshmallow Fluff Filling.

Assemble pies by spreading 1 to 2 tablespoonfuls of filling on flat side of a cookie crust, then covering filling with flat side of another cookie crust.



 

There is something you need to know before opening this book: It is a parody. Parody: (noun) meaning a ridiculous imitation. It is meant to be funny. So laugh. A lot. Even if you don’t get it.

Lois Lowry (yes, the one and the same Lois Lowry of The Giver and Number the Stars fame) weaves a hysterical story about the four Willoughby children who desperately want to be “old-fashioned”. Their parents, the loathsome Mr. and Mrs. Willoughby, aren’t exactly the doting parents who only want the best for their children. In fact, they are quite the opposite.

Their father, an impatient and irascible man, went to work at a bank each day, carrying a briefcase and an umbrella even if it was not raining. Their mother, who was indolent and ill-tempered, did not go to work. Wearing a pearl necklace, she grudgingly prepared the meals. Once she read a book but found it distasteful because it contained adjectives. Occasionally she glanced at a magazine. The Willoughby parents frequently forgot that they had children and became quite irritable when they were reminded of it.

(I LOVE that line about the adjectives. It makes me giggle every time I read it.)

The Willoughby children consist of the eldest, Tim, who is quite bossy and selfish, the two twins, Barnaby and Barnaby (nicknamed A and B), and timid Jane, who dreams of a name with more than one syllable. For some unknown reason, they are quite determined to become “old-fashioned” children. What is an old fashioned child, you ask? You know, a wise, worthy and winsome (meaning charming and innocent) orphan like Mary Lennox, Heidi, Pollyanna, or Raggedy Dick. (You may be interested to know that 99% of my fourth graders had never even heard of the before-mentioned characters. If this is the case with you, please turn off the computer/Wii/PSP and get thee to a library without delay. You have some major catching up to do on your childhood.)

After finding a baby on their doorstep, Mrs. Willoughby demands the children to dispose of it immediately, wherein they find the perfect place to dump it; the run down mansion inhabited by Commander Melanoff, a candy making tycoon who lost his wife and son in an unfortunate skiing accident in Switzerland. The Willoughbys leave the baby on the doorstep and return home to find their parents have planned a jaunt around the world and are leaving them in the care of a nanny. The nanny turns out to be quite delightful and a wonderful cook, although nothing like Mary Poppins. (Contrary to our favorite umbrella-toting nanny, the Willoughby nanny believes sugar is diabetes-waiting-to-happen and strictly forbids it.) Through an interesting and coincidental chain of events, the Willoughbys end up back on the doorstep of the Melanoff mansion and are taken in as orphans, along with the doorstep baby. A few more surprises and many more laughs ensue, but I won’t spoil it for you.

I recommend reading this book with your parents—they might just get a bigger kick out of than you do—and they can explain all of the references about old fashioned characters you have so appallingly missed out on.

P.S. Check out the glossary in the back. It is full of wondrously wicked words that will impress all of your friends.

Recipe to Read By: Nanny's Ginger Cookies

Although she doesn't actually make them in the book, this treat is what brings Commander Melanoff and the Willoughby children together . I just figured since she makes everything else, ginger cookies MUST be in her repertoire (meaning a supply of skills a person has).

Ingredients

6 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut up, still firm

6 tablespoons butter flavored (or regular) shortening

1 cup granulated sugar

1 large egg

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/4 cup molasses

2 1/4 cups all purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

2 teaspoons ground ginger

1/2 teaspoon ground cloves

1 teaspoon cocoa powder

1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper (Yikes, I omitted this! Whoever heard of pepper in a cookie?)

1/3 cup sparkly sugar (for rolling)

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Have ready two or three large cookie sheets lined with parchment or Silpats.Using an electric mixer, beat butter until creamy. Beat in shortening, then add sugar, 1/4 cup at a time. Continue beating for another minute. Beat in egg, vanilla and molasses.In a separate bowl, thoroughly stir together the flour, soda, salt and remaining spices. Add the flour mixture to the butter mixture and stir until mixed.Shape dough into 12 evenly sized balls (a little bigger than golf balls). Roll the balls in sparkly sugar. Place 3 inches apart on cookie sheets and bake one sheet at a time on center rack of oven for 13-15 minutes. Cookies should appear cracked on top but still slightly soft.Makes 12 big cookies.

How to eat these the "old-fashioned" way: After you get home from school, change into your play clothes immediately and proceed to the kitchen, where you will pour yourself a tall glass of milk and eat them at the table with a napkin. Tell your mom all about your day at school while she bustles around the kitchen in her apron getting tonight's roast and potatoes started. You may only eat two cookies, though, because you do not want to spoil your dinner.

*Recipe courtesy of Martha Stewart, who reminds me of Nanny in her no-nonsense, practical, motherly way.

Love, Ruby Lavender

"Good garden of peas!"

Ruby is a barefoot tomboy with a hankering for mischeif and a love for chickens. She and her grandma, Miss Eula, live in the sleepy town of Halleluia, Mississippi, where everyone knows each others' business and nothing exciting ever happens. When Miss Eula leaves for Hawaii, Ruby's world turns upside down. Ruby is left to fend for herself against the horrible Melba Jane and to raise two baby chicks on her very own. I loved reading the hilarious letters Ruby and Miss Eula write back and forth to each other and found myself yearning to live in Halleluia by the end of the book. If you find yourself speaking Ruby-lingo with a Southern accent, wearing overalls all day/every day, and plotting ways to steal chickens DO NOT FEAR. It happens to everyone who reads this.

Recipe to Read By:

Ruby's mom's Zucchini Bread (makes 2 loaves)

Ingredients

3 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoons salt

1 teaspoon ground nutmeg
2 teaspoons baking soda

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

3 cups sugar

1 cup vegetable oil

4 eggs, beaten

1/3 cup water

2 cups grated zucchini

1 teaspoon lemon juice

1 cup chopped walnuts or pecans

Directions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. In a large bowl, combine flour, salt, nutmeg, baking soda, cinnamon and sugar. In a separate bowl, combine oil, eggs, water, zucchini and lemon juice. Mix wet ingredients into dry, add nuts and fold in. Bake in 2 standard loaf pans, sprayed with nonstick spray, for 1 hour, or until a tester comes out clean.

Ruby's notes: Don't get any notions about sharing one of the loaves. They are GOOD and you'll eat 'em up quicker than you can say Halleluia, Mississippi. (For those of you priss-pants picky eaters: you can't taste the zucchini--I promise! Just eat it and quit your foolin'!)

*Recipe courtesy of Ruby's mom (who got it from Paula Deen of the Food Network--shhh, don't tell!)